A quote shared by our PFM Professor, I suddenly realized that I was actually sitting in that class with my fellow Psychology classmates. Yes, I'm currently taking up BS-Psy and still found myself not really into it. The sad reality that I have to face 'cause I don't know the direction and the exact pathway that I want to walk through, all I know for now is I really want to graduate with a college degree. It's been a while though, there's a lot of things that bugging my mind so I'm just constantly typing these words. Summer vacation's over a whole pack of time in Batangas. I don't have much updates 'cause I really want to keep myself busy. I've checked the clock and it's already 11:22pm, so late for this blogging things. I don't know, but I just want to express my feelings, I wanna let go of this pain, fear and everything that's crying out loud inside me, if you'll just feel the beat you might actually hear it. I felt I've missed almost half of my life, I really want to go back to those days that the only problem I got is a failing grade from Math. Those elementary years that I always get nervous having my report card and get a "sermon" from my parents. I even missed playing paper dolls, jack stones, piko, 10-20, Chinese garter, and playing mud outside the house with my friends. In short, I actually missed being a kid. I know there will always be a kiddo side of me. But as my professor said, things always change and there's nothing I can do but to go with the flow.
Everything is bound to change, even people do changes too. And we just have to accept the fact that letting go of the things that we usually do is necessary. As I always hear from myself and to others, "Life goes on", "Move on", "Let go", which are not easily done especially if you are left hanging. I know, I've already let go but I'm still currently moving on. This is the way it should be, I know there's no turning back. I have no regrets, none at all. I just always have this bittersweet memories of us that I know will change too in God's time.
If you're going to ask me, I'll tell you that I've learned a lot of things and still continuing to learn from the mistakes that I've done. They say experience is the best teacher. These mistakes are shaping me and polishing me to become a better person. I'm seeing a clearer view because my tears washed my eyes. Crying is necessary too, so I'm not afraid to show how much gallons of tears I'm gonna spend. It's not the tears count, it's how I've been a better person after crying. And if there's one thing that's been so remarkable to me, I've learned to let go of the things that actually the cause of my pain. So the next time I'll commit a mistake, I'll make sure it's not the same and this time it's right. I will not grasp tight so that when CHANGES are necessary I can easily get on with the flow.